Health - Wellness
How Your Attachment Style Can
Affect Your Relationships
By CIARA TURNER-EWERT
During the 1950s, psychologist Mary Ainsworth and psychiatrist John Bowlby developed attachment theory, which aims to explain various styles of attachment in relationships. These styles are first formed with our primary caregivers during infancy and influence our emotional responses, behaviors, and interactions later in life.
When it comes to attachment styles there are four in total: secure, avoidant, anxious, and a combination of avoidant and anxious. People with secure attachment styles make up 60% of the population, and they are responsive to their partner's needs, while also taking care of their own.
People with anxious attachment styles prioritize their partner's needs at the expense of their own, and may need constant validation to feel safe. Alternatively, people with avoidant styles favor independence in a relationship and may form an emotional or physical distance, as they don't want their partner too close due to low trust.
Although attachment styles are generally picked up during childhood, it's possible to shift towards secure attachment styles with the proper tools, patience, and hard work, shares therapist Alyssa Mancao. The first step is creating awareness of your relationship patterns.
Ask yourself questions that investigate how you were treated as a child, and see if your history of romantic partners says anything about your attachment styles. You'll want to surround yourself with people who have a secure attachment style, and plenty of deep reflection and self-love will help get you on the path towards a healthier style.
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