When You Have An Argument Before Bed, This Is What Happens
Most people will admit that they have more arguments than they would like, and it really is no fun, especially when it happens right before bed. A survey by Mattress Advisor of over 1,000 people in relationships found that this happens to most couples about once a month. Relationship experts tell Bustle that arguments before bed happen for a variety of reasons such as stress, exhaustion, frustration with the day's events, and even alcohol.
It is irritating to get all worked up right before you're supposed to wind down for the day. Sleep expert Dr. Robert S. Rosenberg tells The Healthy that arguing before bed can cause a stress response that makes it hard to fall asleep. Survey results from Mattress Advisor confirm that on average, couples who have arguments before bed end up staying up an extra 80 minutes, which doesn't bode well for a good night of sleep, especially if you have to wake up by a certain time.
Why you may or may not want to go to sleep after an argument
Researcher Yunzhe Liu told The Guardian that "We would suggest to first resolve [your] argument before going to bed; don't sleep on your anger."
On the other hand, there are some situations in which this may not be the best solution, says psychologist Samantha Rodman, who told Huffington Post that being tired can intensify conflict and make it harder to empathize with others. For that reason, she says it may be a good idea to go to bed, as resolving the conflict may be easier in the morning when you're well-rested. In addition, therapist Zach Brittle notes that if you're really stressed, going to sleep may offer some relief, making it easier for you to communicate with your partner after you wake up. Getting some sleep is also a good idea if you're drunk, as it will give you time to sober up.
Regardless, it is best to avoid arguments before bed whenever possible. Even if sleep is a good way to cool down and relieve stress, arguments can make it difficult to fall asleep to begin with, so it is better to reconcile your differences during the day. Doing this is beneficial not only for your sleep hygiene, but for your relationship as well. Mattress Advisor observed that couples who avoid arguments before bed typically report healthier and happier relationships than those who do not.