What It Means If You Feel Like You Have To Pee During Sex

Feeling like you need to pee during sex is quite a common observation among a lot of people, especially women. While sometimes the urge is actually related to urine, other times, it's a sign that you're having a good time — an extremely good one. For men, ejaculation and urination are naturally separated during sex because of how their body is built (per Healthline) — the sphincter in their bladder closes up when they have an erection. 

For women, it's a little more complicated. When you're feeling the urge to pass actual urine during sexual intercourse, and in some cases, it even leaks out, you're experiencing something called stress incontinence. Stress incontinence is a type of urinary incontinence that occurs when pressure is on your bladder. It is brought on by things like laughing; coughing; running; and, in this case, sexual stimulation, which makes you want to pee or actually pee. If you're wondering what it really means when you pee a little during a workout, this is because of stress incontinence, too. 

If you feel like you need to urinate during an orgasm, this could be because of urge incontinence. Urge incontinence is also a kind of urinary incontinence that causes a sudden urge to pee. Everything from running water to your bladder muscles spasming because of an orgasm can trigger it. That being said, feeling like you need to go during sex might simply mean you didn't empty your bladder before getting intimate with your partner. When is the urge to pee not about pee?

Female ejaculation and squirting can feel like urge to pee

Experts agree that it's sometimes hard to tell the difference between bathroom urges and bedroom pleasure, especially for women. An orgasm and corresponding physiological reactions like female ejaculation and squirting can all feel like an urge to pee but what's actually happening with both is quite different. 

As explained by certified pelvic rehabilitation practitioner and certified sexuality educator Susie Gronski (via Women's Health), female ejaculation happens when a woman's paraurethral glands (aka the Skene's glands) are stimulated. Skene's glands are located outside the opening of the urethra and they produce a thick white fluid in response to sexual stimulation. With squirting, the fluid that comes out is more clear (not yellow) and smells different from urine. "[Squirting] tends to happen more during high arousal or climax (orgasm) and includes fluid that is similar to urine that comes from the urethra (where urine typically comes out)," shared Gronski. It is also important to note that in the scientific world, there seems to be some debate about whether or not squirting actually includes some urine in it. Either way, squirting is a natural, albeit rarer, female response to sex. 

If you're curious about the surprising things that happen to your body during sex, more specifically squirting, Gronski recommends smelling the stuff or laying out a towel before you get intimate to see what color the liquid is. Knowing that it's not pee may put your mind at ease the next time you engage in sexual activity. 

When you should be concerned about peeing during sex

While medical conditions like stress incontinence and urge incontinence are concerning factors that require a visit with your healthcare provider and proper treatment, feeling like you need to pee when you're actually aroused is something to be enjoyed. If it helps, you can try and tell the difference based on other physiological changes that happen during intense pleasure, explained board-certified urologist Dr. Fenwa Famakinwa Milhouse (via Dr. Milhouse). 

"Is this happening at the time of climax? Are you at the strong sexual stimulation — the height of sexual climax mentally? Are there other physical things happening?" asked the expert. Shaking legs, an increase in your heart rate, and other manifestations of a really good time in bed accompanied by a need to pee may just mean you're about to orgasm. If you're still feeling uncomfortable about letting yourself enjoy that release, talk about it with your partner and maybe try having sex in the shower or laying out towels on the bed before you get intimate. 

On the other hand, what it means if you're feeling the urge to urinate not necessarily at the time of sexual climax is that you're experiencing stress incontinence, added Dr. Milhouse. For men, prostate cancer surgery can bring on incontinence during sex so it's important to seek medical attention if this happens. Like we said before, urinary incontinence won't be a problem only during sex so it's important to notice the signs outside of the bedroom. Treatment for incontinence includes pelvic floor strengthening exercises, lifestyle changes (including changing sexual positions), and medication.