Ethan Zohn: A Survivor In More Ways Than One – Exclusive Interview

So you just announced that you're running the Boston Marathon? 

About a month ago, I announced that I'm running the Boston Marathon to celebrate being 10 years in remission from Hodgkin's lymphoma, and I'm partnering with Trulieve Cannabis as the brand ambassador for Momenta, which is really exciting. And [I'm] running to raise awareness for AKTIV Against Cancer, whose mission is to ensure that exercise is an integral part of cancer treatments.

Is AKTIV Against Cancer's mission to incorporate exercise into post-cancer treatment, or during cancer treatment?

A little bit of both actually. AKTIV Against Cancer is an organization founded by Grete Waitz, who is a nine-time New York City Marathon champion. And she was diagnosed with breast cancer. [She] ended up passing away a little while ago, unfortunately. However, she created AKTIV Against Cancer. And they actually have cancer-specific gyms all throughout Norway. When they brought AKTIV Against Cancer to the United States, they're focusing a little bit more on research. So what's happening now is they're researching the effects of exercise on tumor reduction as well as how the body interacts with chemotherapy while exercising. 

So for me, I grew up as an athlete, competitive soccer player, and so fitness and exercise have always been a huge part of my life. And when I was diagnosed, I just gravitated toward exercise. It wasn't a research thing. It wasn't a medical thing. I just felt comfortable. For me, exercise is freedom. When I can put on a pair of shoes and get out there and just run, it just means I'm alive, I'm free. And I measure my fitness on my running abilities. If I can run a seven-minute mile, I'm in pretty good shape. If I run a 10-minute mile, I need to get in shape. When I was sick, all I wanted to do was just bust out of the hospital room and go running. And so what's really exciting about AKTIV Against Cancer, they actually just gave a $3.3-million grant to Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York City to study the effects of exercise on cancer.

So, [the] Boston Marathon is coming up. How are you feeling fitness-wise? How are [you] feeling emotionally? 

There's so much wrapped up in this one race that I don't know where to start. I'm celebrating 10 years in remission. That's a big thing. Last time I ran the Boston Marathon was in 2013 to celebrate one year in remission. It was the year the bombs happened. So I was pulled off the course at Mile 24. So to be able to return to Boston, where I grew up, to run the Boston Marathon 10 years after this time that I ran it. And obviously, it's representing so much and to be able to partner with Trulieve Cannabis and AKTIV, it just means so much to me and [I'm] really excited.

Fitness-wise, I'm feeling okay. I've been training, I've put in the time, but it's always a challenge on race day. You don't know what the weather's going to be like, how I'm going to feel, but I know the crowd and just the excitement is just going to carry me through the race.

Do you feel comfortable talking about the last time you ran Boston, as far as what was your experience getting pulled off the course? Were you aware of what was happening?

So, I was running, like I said, I was running a race to celebrate being one year in remission. I was, at that time, running for an organization called Grassroots Soccer, which is an organization I helped co-found with the money from "Survivor." So we had a team of runners in the race. We had about, I think we had eight or 10 runners in the race. I actually didn't know the bomb went off. Here I was running, and we heard something, but you didn't know what it was. So we just continued on with trying to finish this race. And it wasn't until, literally, people pulled us off the course — barricades, policemen. And what was scary was just the chaos, the uncertainty, the lack of information at the time. Cellphones were cut off. I had no way to get home at that moment.

Everyone was scared. I didn't know if people were injured. Other members of my team were injured. So it was just, obviously, a really horrible situation on top of something that, in theory, should [have been] a beautiful moment for so many people. It was scary. And on the flip side, I was so impressed with how Boston responded and the world came together. 

I'm excited to return to finish the race and ... these races are a collection of so many incredible people from all over the world coming together for a common cause and to achieve a common goal. So just to be part of that is pretty awesome.

Do you have a pace goal?

Well, my secret pace goal — which is now not a secret because I'm telling you — is four hours and 20 minutes. Just because it's a good number in the whole cannabis world. I don't know if I'm going to be able to hit that goal. My realistic goal is between four and five hours, let's put it that way.

Aside from cannabis, what steps do you take for mental health and mental wellbeing now?

I tried everything because I went through cancer, I had a stem cell transplant. I relapsed, I had to go through it all again, got a second stem cell transplant. So in between, I was running out of options. I stopped. I was scared. I was afraid. [I] didn't want to die, obviously. As a patient, it's really hard to articulate what it feels like to be seriously ill, right, have a positive outlook, rah-rah, but when your entire team of doctors tries multiple ways of healing you that don't work, you panic. You freak out. I just was craving survival and I didn't know what to do.

So I leaned a little bit into a lot of different alternative therapy. I did meditation, visualization, yoga, Reiki, acupuncture. I met with some Haitian lady who spit on my face in the basement of some Brooklyn apartment. We went to a color therapist. I traveled to Bali with past life regression, laughing, yoga. I went to healers and ... I tried everything because I was flipping out.

So I'm a big fan, I don't know what worked. Something worked. It took me four hours just to leave the house today because I [have] to go through every single thing because something worked. I don't know what it was, but something cured the cancer. And I still don't know. So it's everything for me right now. But in today's world, I definitely exercise. I eat well.

I've incorporated cannabis and CBD into my life. I still do a little bit meditation-type work. Definitely a lot of visualization, especially coming up for the Boston Marathon. I've watched a seven-minute sped-up version of the course where I can visualize and just see myself on the course. And that, for me, has been pretty helpful in terms of my, I guess, daily wellness.

What motivated you to go on "Survivor" again almost 20 years [after you first competed]? As a cancer survivor?

So many things motivated that. ... I got asked to participate in "Survivor" Season 40, which was when they asked back 20 of the most popular winners of all time, not to compete for $1 million, but $2 million dollars. ... I was literally on my couch in New Hampshire eating Doritos, probably smoking a joint, I have no idea. And I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm going to have to train for this thing right now. You crazy?" But what motivated me was exactly that. I actually was in my stem cell transplant in 2010 when "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" was on. And I was watching it in my hospital room saying if I get out of this alive, if I get myself healthy enough again, I'm going to go play "Survivor" again. So that was always a goal for me to survive, I guess you can say. 

It took me 16 years to get to a place where I was ready mentally, spiritually, physically to go play the game of "Survivor" again. But it wasn't an easy choice because the game of "Survivor" itself is incredibly stressful. You're not eating. You're not sleeping. There's cold weather. The mental stress was something. I just didn't know if I would be able to handle [it].

And I didn't have a good go at it. I'm not going to lie, it was a tough season for me. [It was filmed] on this place called the Edge of Extinction, which is literally the edge of extinction. You're withering away in the South Pacific. It's purgatory. And the last time I felt that way, the last time I looked that way, the last time I was having thoughts of the same was when I was sick. So it brought me right back to a place that was really scary for me. And now, I'm surrounded by people who I'm supposed to be friends with, but I can't be friends with them because friendship is based on trust. You can't trust anyone out there.

I was so alone and so isolated from the world, from these people. And then you're going through "Survivor" and then you got my whole fricking world of anxiety on top of that. So it was a difficult game to play for me this time around. However, going into it, I did have some strategies in place on how to get myself out of those moments. So I definitely tapped into some mental health techniques to keep me sane out there.

The past two seasons of "Survivor" have introduced more dramatic twists and challenges than ever. How do you think you would do on the latest season right now?

Well, I mean it's only 26 days, so I feel like anyone can last 26 days. Whether you've had cancer or not, or you're the strongest person in the world, the weakest person in the world, it doesn't matter. So that's one thing. I don't think the game is better or worse. I just think it's different. But I feel that an average player or below average player can go far in the game because of all those [twists] you mentioned: clues, idols, nullifiers, advantages, disadvantages, ways to get back in the game. I mean, on season four, they had a currency which actually [bought] stuff out there with these fire tokens. So I love what "Survivor" does to keep it fresh and exciting and new. However, I just think there's a lot there. The aspect of surviving isn't a priority anymore. I'm an old-school player. I played way back in the day. And so I gravitate toward the old-school style of play. I don't think it works in today's game. It's clear that if you watch season 40, the old-school players got knocked off one through nine right off the bat.

In the way information is shared, the speed at which the game is played, it's just at a different level right now. And like I said, I don't know if it's better or worse. It's just different. And so, my skillset, I feel I'm good at surviving. I feel I can out-starve anyone out there. So, those things are removed a little bit when you add all these other impulses into the game.

Who do you think is playing the best game this season?

Jonathan, obviously, is dominating all these challenges. However, he's definitely put a target on his back because he is so dominant. I think Drea is playing a good game right now. I like Mike, the older guy. I think he's playing a decent game right now. But to be honest, my picks for winners have already been voted off. I thought Zach was going to do good, and I thought Jenny was going to do good. And they're both gone. And then the leukemia survivor, Daniel, he already got voted off. Those are my three money on and they're gone. So don't trust the thing I say basically.

What advice would you give other 'cancer crushers' or anybody going through cancer treatment right now?

That's always a very difficult question. No one really knows what going through cancer is like. It's different for each person. And you won't really know what that's like unless you go through it yourself. But I think it's not a linear path. And I think the general perception of cancer in this world is that there's winners, and there's losers. Either win against cancer and stay alive, or you lose against cancer and you die. But the reality of the situation, in my situation, is that there are millions of people out there living with cancer, living with the fear that the cancer may come back. I think that's okay too. So I feel that whatever you're feeling right now in the cancer journey is the right way to feel as long as you make sure that today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow's better than today. I think you'll be okay.

And for me, when I was going through cancer, I really tried. I live my life by making sure to never let a crisis go to waste because it's an opportunity to do some really important things. So even in the middle of my crisis, I could use that and turn it outward to help others. The most effective tool we have as a cancer community is to share our stories. The more stories, the more people know what it's really like, the more progress can be made, the research, the fundraising.  

When you're diagnosed with cancer, everything in your life up until that point is, all of a sudden, in a microscope. And you get to look at your life and reassess your life. And I think that's a gift. I think the ability to look at your life and make adjustments, figure out what's working, what's not working, love, money, work. It's a real opportunity to look at yourself, look at your life and actually ... when you're getting chemo and you're like, if I make it out alive, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. Well, now you can actually do it. You've had the opportunity to look at your life, and reflect, and assess, and adapt, and adjust. So when you do get out of this and on the other side of this horrible diagnosis, there's hope, and the resilience, and then you can just dive into that, live a life that you are proud of.